The Purpose
by LOTRchic
Summary: A Nobody, wondering what her purpose was. Axel, wondering if this existence was all there was for him. Watch what happens when they teach each other there's more to existence than existing. Please Review, but be kind please. Rated M for later chapters...
1. Prologue

1

Prologue

I guess you can say it was Fate; that it was Destiny. Or you can call it cruel irony. Whatever you call it, I was here; I existed. My name is Axel. I was made, from whom, I don't know and I don't think I ever will. You see, I am nothing. I'm what you'd call a Nobody. Got it memorized? A Nobody… a being created when someone with a strong heart leaves their body and soul behind when they lose their heart to the Heartless. Oh, you don't know what a Heartless is? Well, it's exactly what it sounds like, a being without a heart. Got THAT memorized? Anyway, here I was. I was wishing for more than this existence. Well, I didn't really exist. You could say I was a shadow. A really intense shadow that could create fire and wield weapons. But all of that aside, what was there for someone who was nothing; who literally was a Nobody? Well, I was part of an Organization who was set to try and get us our hearts so we could actually exist. I had to admit, it gave me a purpose. It gave me a reason to continue; to work towards a goal. I was expecting to exist finally. But there are unexpected things that happen to us Nobodies. I didn't expect to get a good friend. I really didn't expect to find new friends. I didn't expect morality. But the last thing I ever expected to happen; the miracle I thought I'd never get to experience was to find love.

My name is Zephyra. I've been wandering for so long; so very long. I don't know who I am or where I'm from. I don't even know if I really exist. What if I am a shadow; a dream in a person's head? Who am I? My name is Zephyra. What am I? I'm not myself; or am I? I've tried to look for who I was; who I am, what I am. Nothing. No inkling as to who I was or am or where I'm from. Nothing; utterly nothing. Maybe I'm nothing. My name is Zephyra. No, I can't be **Nothing**. I see, I hear, but I'm not seen... not heard. Maybe I am a shadow. But there's nothing to tell me who I was. _**Was**_ I ever? Maybe I AM nothing. But I have a name, how does nothing have a name? My name is Zephyra and I've been wandering for so long; so very long. Will it never end? Am I truly nothing? But my name is Zephyra and I've been wandering. 


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I sat watching the main road that leads into The World That Never Was, that's our world. I expected another quiet ending to another quiet day. Oh how wrong I was. A breeze passed over my face out of the North. I closed my eyes and savored the feel of it. I guess you could say that it was weird that I could feel anything. Nobodies don't feel anything. Suddenly, a lone figure appeared on the horizon. Long, black hair flowing in the wind, there was a feeling of untamed wildness about them. I watched the figure approach, clothed entirely in white with its face hooded by a robe. I hopped down from my perch and materialized my weapons into my hand. They are these big, spoked wheels I guess you can say. Anyway, I had them in my hand before I landed. In a few moments, I saw the figure heading my way. "Halt! Don't come any closer!" I shouted, getting a better grip on my weapons. The figure kept walking towards me. I'll admit, it was slightly terrifying the way this person walked. It was...purposeful. It was determined and strong. "I said HALT!" the figure halted only a few yards away from me.

"You can see me," said a low voice. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Up close, I could see the long black hair and the curves of a woman's body underneath that robe.

"Yeah, who are you and what do you want?" I didn't want her getting too close. She didn't feel like a helpless woman. I had to be prepared for whatever she had up her sleeve. The hooded face turned to the left a little bit.

"Who I am... that's an interesting question." It put me off a bit, not only her answer, but the way she spoke. She spoke in an almost monotone voice. "I don't know anymore. Maybe I am Nothing. but you can see me. Maybe I'm not. Either way, my name is Zephyra. What do I want? Another interesting question. I want to know if I am real; if I exist. But you can see me."

"...Yeah." I lowered my weapons slightly. There was something not entirely right about this girl. "How did you get here?" The hooded face just stared at me. I shifted my weight a little bit. "I said how did you get here." 3

"The question is 'am I really here?' Maybe this is all a dream. Maybe I am just a figment of someone's imagination. In a twisted dream where I feel nothing. Yet you saw me. Why?"

"Wait, you don't feel anything?" _Could she possibly be a Nobody,_ I thought to myself.

" Nothing." I contemplated for a moment, and then threw my weapon at her. It hit her smack dab in the chest. She didn't even flinch.

"What the hell was that for?" she asked. I still couldn't get over the fact that she said it without any emotion. It kind of creeped me out.

"I had to see it to believe it. I know what you are."

Could it be true? Could this red-haired stranger know what I am? I had given up hope for ever finding out what I was. Now here it seemed that someone finally knew. A redheaded stranger KNEW what I was. "What am I then?"

"I'd say you're a Nobody."

"A Nobody? What is a Nobody?" He smiled a sardonic grin.

"A Nobody is a being created when someone with a strong heart leaves their body and soul behind when they lose their heart to the Heartless."

"So...what am I?"

"I guess you can say, you exist, but you aren't truly real." _It figures,_ I thought to myself. I removed my hood and looked at the man.

"Tell me more about being a Nobody, and tell me more about the Heartless."

I was taken aback when she removed her hood. She looked at me with orange eyes. Not brown eyes that looked auburn, but honest to goodness orange eyes. They threw me off a little bit. "Not much to tell about Heartless. They're beings without hearts. As for learning about Nobodies, follow me." She hesitated for a bit. 4

"Why should I follow you? I don't even know your name." I realized that it was true; she had introduced herself and I hadn't introduced myself.

"The name's Axel. Got it memorized? A-X-E-L."

"Axel. I suppose I should say pleased to meet you, but..." she shrugged her shoulders. "I can't feel pleasure can I?" _I bet I could make you feel pleasure,_I thought to myself, and then I shook my head. I did find her form attractive, but I wasn't about to get myself involved. Besides, she would feel nothing for me. I was a strange Nobody. Only Roxas, my best friend and I can feel something.

"Follow me then Zephyra, I'll tell you all I know." I turned my back on her and began walking away.

"Axel," she said, almost in a whisper. I turned to look at her. Her head was bowed, her face hidden behind cobalt locks of hair. "If it's true what you say, and I am a Nobody...what does that mean for me? What is my purpose if I'm a Nobody?" I smiled at her, I think.

"Just follow me Zephyra. I'll explain everything."

It was hard to believe that I was following a total stranger. But here I was, following Axel to the answers I sought. _Is this really what I am? A Nobody? How is this possible? How did I come to be? Who is the one I was made from?_ As if to answer my thoughts, Axel said "Don't hope to find the one you were made from. Most if not all the ones we've been created from are Heartless now. They, in essence, don't exist either." I let my eyes travel down, observing him in general. His gait was slightly feminine, but there was nothing feminine about him. His red locks were very attractive and when he would glance back at me, his bright green eyes sent a shiver down my spine. I had never felt like this before... Did I just say I felt?

5


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I couldn't believe my luck. Here I was, fully clothed in black being brought to a room by Axel where he said I could 'choose my poison,' whatever that meant. I now had a purpose. I was part of Organization XIII. They were all very willing to have me part of their Organization. In fact, Xaldin had asked if I even had to ask to be part of it and no one said anything otherwise. I don't know why they were so willing, but I had a purpose now and needless to say, I FELT happy. I kept my whole feeling thing to myself. I didn't think it would be wise telling everyone that I could feel. I couldn't feel pain. I guess that was something. Anyway, he opened a door for me and bowed me in. I suppressed a grin. I didn't want Axel knowing either, or Roxas. Roxas and Axel were always seen together; I assumed they worked together. Anyway, I entered the door and we were in a large storage room full of weapons and other odds and ends. "Choose your poison," Axel repeated.

"I don't understand..."

"Choose a weapon. Xemnas has asked me to show you our private wares and you are to have whatever you desire." I looked around a bit and then realized that there were three I couldn't choose from. I looked over at Axel, who was watching me intently and then picked up all three. A set of Chinese throwing stars, a set of daggers and a spear with an elaborate top. I brought them over and showed Axel. "These are my poisons," I said as I swung my spear at him, barely missing the top of his skull. I wanted to look at him all smug like, but I refrained.

I had to admit, I was impressed. Who would of thought a girl would be able to wield that sort of weapon? Anyway, I grinned at her, and asked "Think you could handle a little one on one with yours truly?"

"I suppose so." I almost laughed, and then led her out to the courtyard. I 'summoned' my weapons and took my battle stance. I waited for her to make the first move; she waited for me; watching me with her orange eyes...her cat eyes...Eyes of a huntress. I was so distracted by her eyes I didn't catch her coming towards me until it was almost too late. I blocked her stroke with my weapons and then jumped back.

6

"Very clever of you, attacking when your opponent is distracted." I didn't realize she had come behind me either until I heard her say,

"Very stupid, taking time to talk during a battle." I felt one of her daggers at my neck. "I do believe I win," she said in her monotone voice. Only, there was something else there. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I would. I shrugged her off me and turned to face her.

" I was going easy on you. I almost let you beat me. This time, I won't hold back as much." She nodded, but then took her fighting stance, holding the spear out in front of her. I threw one of my weapons at her, fire coming out of the sides, but she jumped sideways and backflipped over me and thrust the blunt end of the spear into my stomach...HARD. I sepressed a grunt, and then stood erect just as she placed a dagger aiming at where my heart should have been.

"I win again," she remarked, looking at me with her orange eyes. I pushed her dagger aside. I was upset. Who did she was think she's dealing with here? Some worthless Dusk? She was dealing with AXEL, one of the Organization!

"This time I'm not holding back," I shouted back at her, creating a ring of fire around us. She held her spear ready, and I rushed at her, swinging my weapons full force at her. She blocked my attacks as easy as swatting flies and then spun around quickly, dragging the end of her spear in the ground while she tossed three Chinese stars at me. I blocked those, but I hadn't realized how close we had gotten and the end of her spear tripped me. I stumbled and she pushed me back where I fell into a puddle. And, as if my humiliation couldn't have been worse, I heard laughter.

"She got you GOOD Axel," came the voice of my best friend, Roxas. I glared at him as I stood up, dripping wet. In outrage, I threw my weapon when her back was turned, looking at Roxas, and fire came out the end. She spun around and pointed the spear at it and ice came out of the end. "I guess her power is ice...Fire and ice, how cute." I glared even more at him. He laughed again, and said "Hey Zephyra, want to have a REAL challenge?" She nodded, and turned to face me again.

"Fight him," I muttered and slouched off to the sidelines. I was so pissed off, I wouldn't be surprised if fire was coming out of my eyes and mouth.

7

I could tell he was pissed. I didn't know why. I beat him, fair and square. I had some fighting experience, especially meeting the black bodies I now know as Heartless stalking me everywhere. Don't ask me why they were following me! I was a being without a heart. I watched after Axel for a bit, and then shrugged. It was his problem he couldn't accept me beating him. I turned to face Roxas, who had produced 2 swords, only, they looked more like keys. "Like 'em? They're called Keyblades," he said, and took a position opposite me. I lowered my spear really quickly and went to take off my robe. It was never noticed under my white robe, but I had a special outfit. It was blood red and it was made for movement. It was shorts with leggings ending at my mid thigh and a belt that had a length of fabric in the back and front, covering the middle. My top was a series of straps and strips, wrapped around and over, leaving my arms bare and free. It was a halter top, not entirely covering my flat stomach. I tossed the cloak aside and picked up my spear again. I saw Roxas looking at me like I was going to be easy to beat. Oh was he in for a surprise.

I almost laughed at her. She was taking on Roxas wearing only that? I had to admit though, it was really appealing. It showed off her figure quite well. She was tall for a woman, with hair going down to the mid-thigh. She watched Roxas with her orange eyes, her lips a straight line. He ran at her first and she whipped out a dagger and blocked his two sword attack. I thought they would break, but they didn't. Then, I remembered that THOSE particular daggers were made for either throwing or blocking attacks. I just didn't think that it was made for blocking swords. Apparently, I was wrong. He bounced back, a little amazed, as she ran at him, throwing stars in hand. She jumped over him and backflipped, throwing the stars at him. He ran after her, blocking her throwing stars and as she landed, he took a swipe at her and she bent down and swung her leg around, tripping him. He stumbled and then regained his balance before she swung her dagger at him. He swung at her and she used her spear to pole-vault over him and she took one of her smaller daggers and threw it at him. He blocked it with a casual flick of his sword and almost missed the second one heading his way. He rolled away from that one and got to his feet just as Zephyra was thrusting her spear at him. Ice came out of it and froze his leg in place. He looked over at me for help, but I wasn't about to get involved.

8

Zephyra brought her dagger up and was surprised when he knocked it out of her hand. She ran to get it as Roxas struggled to get free. The ice broke just as Zephyra poked her dagger into the middle of his back, gently, so she wouldn't break skin. "I win," I heard her say, but I stormed off in a rage.

"You're a great opponent Zephyra," I heard Roxas say to me. I lowered my weapon and looked in the direction Axel had gone. "You might want to chase after him. He's in a mood."

"But I didn't do anything," I said as I picked up my robe and hung it over my arm. Roxas shrugged as he made his Keyblades disappear.

"You beat him, that was enough." Now I was irritated. I motioned at his hands.

"How do you make your weapons disappear like that?"

"Just swing your arm and think of your weapons as gone. When you need them, swing your arm again and think of your weapons as in your hand." I did what he said and then followed Axel, not bothering to put on my robe. I caught up with him just as he entered a hallway.

"Axel! Hey Axel!" I called, running to catch up to him. I caught up to him and said, "What's the matter with you?"

"What's the matter with me? Nothing's the matter with me. I just got beaten by a GIRL, but I'm okay."

"And what does me being a girl have anything to do with this?"

"EVERYTHING," he shouted at me, gesturing with his arms. "I GOT BEATEN BY A GIRL! GUYS ARE STRONGER THAN GIRLS...END OF STORY! TO BE BEATEN BY ONE IS A GUY'S ULTIMATE SHAME!"

"HEY! I FOUGHT WELL AND YOU KNOW IT AXEL," I shouted back, too angry to care if he saw me like this or not. "AND IF YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO ACCEPT THAT, THEN MAYBE WE CAN FORGET ABOUT EVER BEING FRIENDS!" I saw a strange look in his eyes, a confusion. Then, anger overcame his confusion.

9

"WE NEVER COULD BE FRIENDS BECAUSE _**YOU**_ CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING!"

"WELL, I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO'S HEARTLESS!"

"WE'RE ALL HEARTLESS! THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, TRYING TO EXIST!" Tears filled my eyes, but I hid them. I whispered at first,

"And to think, all this time we've been trying to exist, well you know what..."I looked up at him then, "MAYBE SOME OF US WEREN'T MEANT TO TRULY EXIST!" With that, I ran off to my room.

Okay, so maybe I was being a bit too touchy, but her parting words stung worse than being beaten by her in combat. I walked outside to the courtyard where Roxas was standing. "Burn off some steam," he asked. I merely grunted. "What was the matter anyway? And where's Zephyra?"

"My...pride was hurt that's all. Zephyra...I don't know where she went. I think she went to her room."

"Axel, what did you do THIS time?" I glared at him for a moment, and then sighed and rolled my eyes.

"I suppose I was being a bit too touchy. Either way, we got into an argument, and she ran off after pouring lemon juice on the wounds I was licking clean."

"Honestly Axel, sometimes you can be a real idiot."

"Why am I the idiot? SHE'S the one who was saying all the mean things."

"You probably deserved them. Now, tell me the whole conversation." I gave him the details, and when I finished, he shook his head and said, "like I said Axel, you're an idiot sometimes. You didn't need to get so upset about her beating you. She's good; real good and it's nothing to be ashamed about. I suggest you apologize after she's cooled off some steam." I looked away from him, because for once... he was right.

10

I was lying on my bed later that evening, regretting some of the things I said to Axel, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to reveal Axel and Roxas. Axel couldn't look at me. "Hey Zephyra," said Roxas, "mind if we come in?" I shook my head no and allowed them to enter my room. They sat in chairs next to the bed and I sat on the bed. Everyone was quiet for a moment and then Roxas elbowed Axel. Axel looked over at Roxas, who nodded pointedly over to me. Axel sighed and began to speak, his head hanging so I couldn't see his face.

"I...I guess I'm sorry Zephyra. For...being so sexist and...you know,...saying all those things and...yeah. I'm...I'm sorry."

"I guess I apologize to," I said in my monotone voice. "There were some things I said that were uncalled for and for that, I'm sorry." I think I saw him flinch at my cold, unfeeling voice. "If that's it gentlemen, I'd really appreciate it if..." Axel's head shot up.

"Look Zephyra, I really AM sorry. Don't just kick us out. Can't we just...all talk for a bit?" I looked at him for a second, his green eyes almost pleading with me. Now how could I say no to those pleading eyes? I gave him a small smile and sat back down on the bed.

"Yes...let's."


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"So it's really quite simple to throw your weapons with unerring accuracy," I told Axel a few months after I had joined the Organization. Now that he had gotten over being beaten by a girl, I was giving him a few pointers in fighting. His tongue was sticking out of his mouth slightly as he attempted to get his aim better. I had to admit, it was really cute. Then, he threw the wheel and it hit the target dead on.

"I got Zephyra!" I gave him a small smile and nodded my approval.

"Very good. Now, just practice everyday and you'll be able to do that quickly and accurately." His shoulders sagged a bit, but then he straightened up. He nodded, and then caused his weapons to vanish. He looked up at the sky.

"It's getting late," he said. How he could tell, I never knew, seeing as this world was always dark and rainy. Still, I took his word for it and went to my room. I left the door open a smidgen as I opened the window in my room. That was Axel and Roxas' sign that I was willing to talk to them that night. They were always such idiots that there were days where I kept my door and window closed. Still, I was in a good mood today and Axel came walking in after a few minutes. He was wearing dark pants and a dark tee-shirt. They contrasted so well with his light skin. He closed the door behind him. "Roxas won't be joining us... He's on a mission for Xemnas." I nodded, I knew we couldn't always talk all three of us. Sometimes, it was just me and Roxas, other times... it was just me. I had only gone on one mission, and all I had to do was observe a place called Hollow Bastion and see what sort of restoration they were doing. I also had to study the Heartless there. Apparently, they were important to us. We sat on the roof next to my window, looking up at the sky.

"Hey Axel," I said, "Do you think that this is all there is for us? That gathering hearts and observing the Heartless is all we're good for?"

"I think that this is the only way we'll be free to live our own lives. When we become real, we'll be able to choose for ourselves what we do."

"Well, why can't we do that now?" He looked at me intently for a minute, and then looked up at the sky again.

12

"Thinking of betraying the Organization? That would be most unwise. They would destroy you."

"That's not what I meant. I just mean that there has to be more out there than meetings and Heartless and Kingdom Hearts. We remember what it's like to have hearts right? Well, why can't we just go and try to live like a human being? Like, why can't we try to pretend we are real; that we do exist?"

I had to admit, her question had merit. Her questions were questions I had myself. The Organization gave me a purpose, but does a person need only one purpose? Can there be more for me out there that I'm not experiencing? I knew better than to go find out. Roxas had been getting some ideas though. He wanted to know why the Keyblade had chosen him. But I didn't think he'd go to extremes to find out. I thought it would be a passing phase and then he'd be his old self again. "I have a question for you Zephyra," I said as I leaned back so I could look at her better, "could you keep up the charade? Could you honestly live with yourself living a lie?"

"Well, I guess not..."

"I wouldn't want the foundations of all my friendships to be on lies. I'd want them to be more real than that."

"I guess I would to. But Axel," I looked at her closely then. There was a strange look in those orange eyes. I had known for a while that she had emotions, but, knowing how the others would take this news, I never brought the topic up into open conversation. "Didn't you ever want to know what it would be like to live somewhere away from all this rain? To live in the sun? To see other people; to make new friends? Don't you want to know what that's like?" She was making me uncomfortable with her questions, mostly because they were my own. What WOULD it be like to live somewhere else; to meet new people? I looked away from her then.

"I suggest not asking those questions anymore Zephyra... they only get you into trouble."

13

I wanted the answers to the questions I had in my mind, but I knew better than to press Axel into telling me his thoughts. I sighed and leaned back a bit, looking at the stars.

"So...why the sudden interest?" I shrugged my shoulders and looked away.

"No reason," I mumbled.

"Liar," he said, nudging me with his shoulder. "Come on, you can tell me."

"Look, just forget it okay?" Axel chuckled a little bit.

"There's no fun in that. So come on, tell me.. Why so interested all of the sudden?" I stood up and said,

"Look Axel, It was NOTHING! So just forget I even mentioned it." I went inside to signal I was done talking, but then he didn't leave. Instead, he sat on my bed. He looked at me with his pouty eyes again. The ones I always have to force myself to say no to, yet I wasn't always successful. I rolled my eyes and silently cursed him and his good looks. I sat on the bed next to him, so close we were almost touching.

"I...I want to know if this is all I'm good for now Axel... Am I only good for controlling Heartless and getting hearts? I want to know if that is my future." Axel looked at me, into my soul... if I had had a soul.

"Zephyra," he began, his voice barely a whisper in the night. His ungloved hand touched my cheek and instantly fire roared through my bloodstream. My eyes leapt to his lips unbidden; his sensual curving lips, looking absolutely delicious as he pulled a corner up to do a half-smile. "I think there is more for you to do, but for the ORGANIZATION. You are a brilliant fighter...Xemnas and the others only need to see that. Now then," he said as he removed his hand from my cheek. (I almost whimpered when he did that.) "I want you to lie down." I dared a glance at him, and then I obliged. "Now, close your eyes." I did so. "Now, I want you to think of things you could do, if you weren't with the Organization." I cracked open one eye.

"NOT with the Organization???" Axel nodded. "why?"

"It will help you focus. Now just do it." I sighed, but did as I was told. At first, all I could see was me wandering the worlds once more. But then, another vision came. I wasn't wandering alone anymore. Axel was there with me, and we were smiling and laughing and having a good time. We were sitting watching the stars, we were eating a picnic lunch together, we were swimming. We were lying on a bed together, his arms around me, whispering in my ear and kissing my neck. I couldn't repress the sigh that escaped my mouth this time.

13

I was watching her through this whole little exercise. At first, her face was neutral, but then she got a small smile on her face. I had to admit, I was really close to kissing those full round lips of hers. I was wondering what she would taste like and before I realized what I was doing, I was bending towards her. I realized how close I was when I was only an inch away from her lips. _Do I dare..._I thought to myself. She sighed then. I wondered what she was thinking about. I whispered, "Did that help at all?" She opened her eyes, her eyes looked dark and liquid like. She didn't seem at all surprised I was so close.

"Yeah, it did a bit."

"Well, do you feel any better?" She smiled, her head tilted up a bit. Our lips were so close, so very close. Did I dare make the move?

"Oh yes, much better...Thank you." She was looking into my eyes. I was sure she could see my internal struggle. I had always found her form appealing, but right now, desire hit my body like a tidal wave. I forced myself to keep my extremities in check, but the desire to kiss her was becoming overbearing.

"Zephyra," I whispered, wondering how much longer I could go on. I was thinking of the most polite way to exit the room when she closed her eyes and tilted her head to kiss my lips. I froze for a moment, but then I groaned and softened my kiss. Oh my Kingdom Hearts, she tasted like sea-salt ice cream. She was sweet and salty at the same time. I rested my arm under her head, supporting her a bit. My head was screaming at me while my body was screaming for her. My head was screaming, _DON'T BE AN IDIOT! YOU'RE A NOBODY! SHE'S A NOBODY! YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO WANT THIS!_ Currently, my body was ignoring my brain. I came up for a breath of air and we both came to our senses, judging by the confusion and the little fear in her eyes. I stood up suddenly, pacing a bit, looking at her. "I...I'm sorry Zephyra. G-Goodnight!" I said this as I raced out of the room into my own room. If I could cry, I probably would've cried myself to sleep.

14

I didn't realize I had done it. I didn't know what I was doing until he came up for air. His eyes were so dark I thought they were black. But then, he got up and basically ran out of the room. I felt awful. How was I going to face him again? I couldn't. I am such an idiot sometimes. 


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I silently thanked my lucky Kingdom Hearts when Roxas came back from his mission. He was the only way I was able to get close to Zephyra again. I think she was avoiding me. With Roxas back, she couldn't avoid me. We were all sitting on the roof again. Zephyra and I couldn't look at each other and Roxas sat between us. He looked at me, than at her. "All right you two, what's going on?" I saw Zephyra jump.

"Nothing's going on..." she began, but then Roxas butted in.

"Please, you two haven't spoken to each other in three days...maybe longer. Care to tell me what happened between you two? You two used to be almost inseparable and now you to aren't seen together without me... Now... what's going on?" Both Zephyra and I glanced at each other real quick, and then looked away again.

How could I tell Roxas that Axel and I kissed? How could I? It isn't something Nobodies are supposed to do... let alone like it. Yes, I admit it, I liked kissing him. He tasted of cherries and fine wine. So tart, yet oh so sweet. Roxas looked at the both of us and then shrugged. He stood up. "I'm hittin' the hay," he said as he went into my room. Axel and I went to follow him, but he put a hand up. "Oh no you don't. You two are staying here and solving your differences."

"You can't tell us what we will or will not do...We're your elders..." Axel said. I was willing to agree with him, but then Roxas frowned.

"Then start acting like it and talk your problems out," he said as he shut my door with a snap. So, Axel and I were left standing in my room alone. Axel looked at his shoes and then at me.

"Look Zephyra, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten or confuse you. We are just friends right?" I didn't answer. He looked at me quizzically. "Zephyra, do you WANT us to be more?"

"I don't know Axel. All I know is that I liked it when you kissed me."

"You... you did?" he asked me. I nodded my head. Before I knew what was happening, he had me up against the wall and was passionately kissing me, his tongue invading my mouth. I moaned softly and dragged my fingers through his hair. It was silky soft. Then a 'HEM HEM' came from the doorway and we broke apart so quickly you would have thought lightning struck us. Roxas was leaning against the doorway, a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Well well, I leave you in here to talk out your problems and I find out that you were make out against the wall." We backed away from each other, both of us were breathing a little heavier than before.

"Look Roxas," began Axel, "it wasn't like that. We were just talking and it just happened."

"Okay Axel, I totally believe you," he said in a tone that said otherwise.

"He's telling the truth Roxas," I but in. "And it was just spur of the moment. It's not going to happen again." Axel looked at me in a hurt manner. Roxas simply laughed and then bid us both goodnight. He left, giving us both meaningful looks as he closed the door on us.

"It's not going to happen again?" he asked, looking at me as if I had just stolen his heart and stabbed it with a knife.

"If you don't want it to..." I began, but then Axel dragged his hand through his hair; the hair I was quite happily running my fingers through.

"How could you say I wouldn't want it to happen again? Unless I'm mistaken, I was the one who started kissing you."

"I suppose, but..."

"Nobodies aren't supposed to want to do this." He finished the sentence for me. I nodded at him. "Listen, you can end the charade around Roxas and me." I looked at him.

"What charade?"

"The act that you don't have emotions. Don't even deny it.I've seen you mad and I've seen you scared. You don't have to hide it you know...Roxas and I...we're different from other Nobodies."

"Axel," I began, but he looked braced for the worst. It wasn't in his posture...it was in his eyes. I sighed. "If we're going to keep on doing this, we CAN'T let the Organization know. Got it?" He grinned at me.

"Got it memorized."


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I saw Axel sitting by himself in a corner. He had been like that since Roxas had betrayed the Organization a few weeks ago. There was something that had been on my mind since Roxas left, but I couldn't talk to Axel about it. I wanted to learn more about the one I had come from. But that would mean traveling abroad and I didn't want to leave the Organization like Roxas. I had no opportunity...until now. I walked up to Axel and tapped him on the shoulder, pulling my hood up as I did so. He looked up at me and I nodded. He nodded back and stood up. We started walking together. We hadn't gone five steps when Demyx came running up. "Hey Axel, have you seen Zephyra?" Axel glanced at me and I nodded slightly. Axel nodded at Demyx and then jerked his head at me. Demyx did a double-take and then recovered. "Hey Zephyra, congrats on the new mission!" I inwardly groaned.

"Thanks Demyx," I whispered. He looked over at Axel.

"Yeah, she's one lucky girl to get THAT mission." Axel cocked one eyebrow.

"What mission are we talking about here Demyx?" Demyx raised his eyebrows a bit.

"You mean...She didn't tell you?" I decided now was the time to get out of there.

"Hey Demyx, so sorry to rush, but...Xaldin needed to talk to us, so..."

"Oh, OK then. Congrats again Zephyra." I waved and grabbed Axel by his elbow and dragged him away. When we got far enough away, I let go.

"So, care to tell me what this mission is?" I sighed.

"I've been assigned to travel to 7 worlds and kill Heartless and collect their hearts."

"What worlds?"

"Uhm... Hollow Bastion, Port Royal, Agrabah, Halloween Town, Olympus Coliseum, the Land of the Dragons,and Twilight Town. It would only be temporary though..."

"So when do you expect to be back? That shouldn't take longer than 4 weeks."

"...only I'm going to be doing more than just killing Heartless and collecting hearts."

". . .Is there more to the mission than that?" I shook my head. "The what else are you going to be doing there?" I took the deep breath before taking the plunge.

"I'm going to discover who I was before I was Zephyra." Axel got a wild-eyed look and then without without warning, he had me up against the wall.

"You're gonna leave, just like Roxas did. You're gonna leave me too, well I won't LET you!" I gave him the even-level stare I give everyone.

"Do you HONESTLY think I would be like Roxas and leave the Organization? The one thing that has given me a purpose again?"

"Why aren't you HAPPY with that purpose?"

I couldn't look him in the face. I looked away." I feel like something is missing Axel. Like there's a part of me I don't know. A part I need to know."

"There is something missing Zephyra...it's your heart. THAT is why you joined the Organization in the first place."

"There's something else missing Axel. I don't know what it is exactly, but I know it's there and I'm going to find out what that is." Axel looked like he was going to argue more, but instead he lowered me down a bit and rested his head on my stomach. I rubbed his hair almost subconsciously. I honestly would rather have him be angry at me than this defeated attitude he had right now. "Hey don't worry. I'll be back."

"I know." But he still didn't raise his head. In fact, he clutched tighter to my sides. I didn't really mind. I actually liked him caring so much. However, the wall was getting uncomfortable.

"Uhm, Axel? Could you put me down please?" He looked up at me then, his eyes so heartbreaking, I knew that if he could, he would be crying. Nevertheless, he lowered me down slowly, dragging me all the way down his body. "Let's head to my room. We can talk more there."

"Nothing really to talk about," he mumbled, but he followed anyway.

I couldn't believe it. She was leaving me just like Roxas did. I don't get it... What is it that these two are looking for? There isn't anything more than the Organization...is there? We got to her room and we sat on the bed. "I know I can't talk you out of going, but please don't be a stranger."

"I won't, I promise." She leaned against me and I slid my arms around her, after looking around to see if he window curtains were closed and the door was locked. She looked up at me, her orange eyes sparkling of their own accord. I turned her light next to the bed off and we were both cast into darkness. I bent down to capture her lips with mine. She turned into me in response, responding even more by invading my mouth with her tongue. This is what we did every night, but tonight felt different for some reason, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I think it was because the difference was coming from me. I moved my lips from hers to her neck. I was wondering how far I could push my luck tonight. She stiffened for only a little bit, but then she moaned softly and arched her head back, giving me more space. I wondered just how far she'd let me go tonight, because I knew right then, if she didn't stop me soon, there was no stopping me tonight.

I felt him push me back onto the bed. I knew something was different about him tonight, but I wasn't about to stop him. It FELT so good. He moved to my throat and dragged his teeth over my pulse. Then he kissed his way down, his hands sliding down to the zipper of the robe we all wore. I froze for a second. _Oh god,_ I thought, _he's undressing me!_Did I dare stop him? No, his teeth teasing my pulse pulled me closer to the edge. I felt him unzip the robe and push it gently off my shoulder as his lips moved down to where my neck met my shoulder and he bit down. I gasped out of shock and pleasure, not pain. My robe was off me and I heard him take his gloves off and trace his finger all the way down my arm and pull my hand up to his mouth, where he nibbled on my wrist before kissing it. I moaned softly, my hands trailing up to his shoulders. I reached for the zipper of his robes and he whispered in a voice that wasn't his own, "Zephyra." That caused me to look up into his eyes, which were so dark, they were black. "If we continue this, there's no stopping." I think he was warning me, not threatening me. I could feel a warm bulge right on my stomach where he was resting on top of me. "If you want me to stop, say so now, because I won't be able to later." For a moment, a hint of fear passed through me, but I was too gone in pleasure to care anymore.

"Axel," I whispered. He looked at me with such intensity, I felt my mouth go dry. Instead, I nodded and said, "please...continue. Don't stop."

"Are you sure you want this," he asked as he trailed his hand slowly up from my stomach to my chest, where the main knot for my top was, tucked inconspicuously under a few of the strips of cloth. I knew that he really wanted me to say yes, but the fact that he would stop would've brought tears to my eyes. I nodded, I couldn't speak. If possible, his eyes went darker as he bent his head to mine to capture my lips again as his hand reached the main knot of my top. With apparent ease, he undid the knot and began to unwrap my top, lifting my top half off the bed while he did so. While he was doing that, I was unzipping his robe and pushing it off his arms. He stopped and helped me take his robe off before returning his attention to my top. Soon, it floated down to the building pile of clothes and my chest was exposed to him. I was always a bit self-conscious about my boobs, so I tried to wrap my arms around them to hide them. Axel grabbed my hands and held them above my head as he looked at them. "Why were you trying to hide them," he asked as he nuzzled one. I moaned softly.

"I...I'm a little self-conscious about them." I arched to his head.

"Oh but why? I think they're very nice," he said with a wicked grin as he bent his head to my chest, taking one of my nipples into his mouth. I gasped, pleasure coursing through my bloodstream. If possible, I arched more towards him. he let go of my hands and I used them to press his head more onto my nipple. His other hand started gently circling the other one. I was breathing heavily now and I think Axel was too. He raised his head up to look at me, before sliding his hands down to the belt with the cloth on it. "You wear far too much clothing," he complained as the belt joined the rest of the clothing on the ground by my bed. I looked at him and decided he was right, seeing as how he was wearing no top and he had his pants on only.

"I guess so," I agreed as I reached for his pants. He swatted my hand away and waggled his finger at me.

"Uh Uh UUUH," he admonished. "None of that." He took my shorts off and then as the leggings came off, I was lying there, completely naked in front of Axel. I blushed and looked away from him. "Aw, is someone feeling a little self-conscious?" I nodded. "we'll need to fix that." With that he pulled down his pants and he was lying next to me, completely naked too. My eyes for some reason were drawn to his 'anything but little' friend. He grinned a proud grin and then pushed me back down on the bed. "Easy tiger. Relax, it'll come soon enough." I threw a look of fear at him real quick. His face melted into a frown. "What's wrong Zephyra?"

"N-N-N-Nothing. He's just...uh... really big." His face smoothed out into a smile and he lay down on top of me, his friend right at my entrance. I almost panicked. But I realized that I was with Axel and I trusted him.

"So what was the problem?"

"I...er...don't think he'll...uhm... fit." He smiled a reassuring smile.

"He will. Don't worry." He then slowly began pushing his way into me. My mind floated away. I closed my eyes and held my breath as he went oh so slowly into me. Suddenly he said, "Don't worry Zephyra. You can open your eyes. It's all the way in."

"You mean I took it all?"

"Yeah," he kind of grunted at me, and when I opened my eyes, I could see he was struggling to contain himself. I nodded at him and he began moving in and out of me. Fire...I was on fire. Everything inside of me was burning and it was yearning for something to cool it down. The heat only grew as Axel picked up his pace. I moaned loudly, I know, and then began matching his pace.

Cold... I was so cold. I felt like ice had entered my bloodstream. I needed heat. I was thrusting frantically into Zephyra when her legs came around my hips. She was warm. She had the warmth my body was craving.

When my legs went around Axel, he felt very cold. He had the coolness my body was craving. I gripped his cold shoulders and trust myself harder onto him, every thrust stimulating me in ways I couldn't possibly begin to understand.

Her hands on my shoulders were so warm, but when she trust herself harder onto me, basically slamming herself down onto me, I felt a wave of ice crash over me so that I almost stopped breathing. I know I shivered.

I felt him shiver. But the cold felt so good to my overheated body. My body screamed. I needed release. And suddenly, there it was. I was screaming, but the relief was so intense. the cool balm I needed was there, and when Axel came inside me, it only furthered the cooling process.

When I felt her come, hearing her scream, my body felt a flash of warmth and that was it. I exploded inside of her, the ice leaving my body and the warmth from hers coming to me. It was heaven to feel warm again.

When my mind finally came back to me, Axel was resting on top of me, still buried to the hilt in me. I had never felt so good in my life. Axel's breathing was normal, so it must have been awhile since we finished. Axel stirred on me. "Am I getting heavy," he asked as he pulled himself out of me. I shook my head; I didn't think I could speak. "I should probably get back to my own room." I shook my head again.

"I...I want you to stay," I whispered. I think that was all I could pull off. He looked up at me with his now green eyes and said

"You sure?" I nodded. "Ok then," he said as he lay down beside me. He flung an arm out and I rolled next to him. His arm came around me. "You okay," he asked.

"Yeah, just tired." I saw a faint smile on his face.

"Yeah, I am too. We should get some sleep. We can talk in the morning." I nodded. I needed to think a bit. He fell asleep soon enough, but I lay awake for a bit. I thought I would feel guilty afterwards, but I didn't. I had just slept with Axel and I wasn't ashamed by that. Did I love him? How could I? I had no heart, but there was something there for him and I felt no regret over sleeping with him. Would I do it again? I looked up at him sleeping next to me, a faint grin on his face. I snuggled next to him and as I drifted off to sleep, I gave myself an answer.

"Hell Fucking Yes." 


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The castle just wasn't the same without Zephyra. She had been gone for only a week, but I missed her nonetheless. I had woken up in her room, naked and alone, with a note and a strip off her top on the pillow next to me. She said in her note that she had to leave straight away, but would be back soon and we could talk then. She also went on to say that I was very good in bed and we'd need to do that again soon. I had to smirk when I read that. I thought at first that maybe she had to leave early to collect herself for when we finally talked, but that thought was pushed aside quickly when Saix mentioned that Zephyra was gaining favor with the Superior for being on top of her missions and so prompt. I was proud of her for that. The only excuse she could make for taking the extra time was that she left early and decided to do more when her task was complete. She was a clever girl indeed. Meanwhile, I was here alone. All I could do was practice my combat skills. Which I didn't mind most of the time. But, when everyone was asleep and the loneliness was more than I could take, I'd sneak back to Zephyra's room and fall asleep on her bed and remember our magical night together. I wished she'd come back soon.

I had to admit; traveling to different worlds felt a lot like it did before I joined the Organization... lonely and mournful. I had already been to the Land of the Dragons and was on my way to Port Royal. I had gathered a bunch of hearts in the Land of the Dragons, but sadly, I discovered nothing about the me before me. I figured that after four worlds, I would head back to The World That Never Was and 'check in' which was code for 'see Axel again.' I missed him a lot; more than I thought I could miss someone. I felt really bad about leaving him alone in my room with just a note and a piece of fabric as well. Xemnas wouldn't appreciate me not finishing my mission in a quick manner, but I already had a story playing in my head for Xemnas. I would say that some 'disturbing information came up about Roxas and I thought it best to report. He'd ask me what that news was, and I'd say that Roxas was seen in the world Olympus Coliseum a few days before I went there, but had disappeared to no one really knows where. But, he has used a portal of darkness. That would disturb Xemnas enough to overlook the fact I still wouldn't have completed my mission, seeing as how Xemnas oversaw everything that went on in the portals. Yup, everything would be smooth sailing when I surprised Axel by coming back earlier than he thought.

I was walking through The World That Never Was, lost in thought. I wondered where Zephyra was right now. It had already been four weeks. I had hoped that maybe; just maybe, she would've decided to check in. Believe it or not, having her away for a short amount of time actually gave me something to look forward to. I walked back to their castle to see Zephyra leaning up against the doorway,grinning at me. I ran up to her and pulled her in for a kiss. "What are you doing back Zephyra? You said you wouldn't be back for at least another three weeks."

"Well, I thought I'd come recharge for a day. Surprised?" I grinned a knowing smile.

"Indeed. And now I have to ask you..." I slammed her up against the wall, so high she was dangling a few inches off the ground. "Surprised?"

"hmm...Indeed." She said as she bent her head down to kiss me. I was slowly dragging my hand down the side of her neck heading to her chest when we heard footsteps. I dropped her immediately and she pulled her hood on. Who should walk around the corner but Xemnas and Saix? I composed myself and she must have too, because she said in her monotone voice that she used for every other Nobody. "Superior."

"Zephyra. I trust your mission went well?"

"Superior, I have some...disturbing news." We all smiled at that one. Nobodies don't get disturbed.

"Oh? Is this news important enough to disrupt your mission?" Zephyra nodded.

"When I was at the Olympus Coliseum, I overheard a conversation going on between Hades two minions. They had said that a young boy wearing a black cloak carrying a sword shaped like a key had been bothering hades with news of someone named Sora and then had disappeared into a portal. I assumed this was Roxas and wondered, 'how could Roxas be using the dark portals if Superior has complete control and knows who enters the portals when?'". I was amazed. Roxas really using dark portals? Did Superior know about this? I looked at him and he had a frown on his face.

"This is indeed...disturbing news." He looked at Saix and then he and Saix walked away. Before they turned the corner, Xemnas stopped and said "You are gaining much favor in my eyes." With that, they walked around the corner. I looked at Zephyra, who took her hood off with a grin.

"You didn't..." I began, a small smile creeping up on me.

"Perhaps I did." Zephyra looked at me suddenly. "However, there is a hint of truth in it. Pain and Panic WERE talking about a boy wearing a black cloak with a Keyblade. I thought you had a right to know the truth in this tall tale."

"So, Roxas was at the Olympus Coliseum."

"Yes, but not anymore. But enough about Roxas," I looked over at her and she was looking at me with such intensity for a second, I forgot to breathe. "We need to talk."

"Yeah," I whispered in a husky voice. "but talking will have to wait," I said as I picked her up a brought her through a portal to my room. Sorry this took so long...Curse writer's block. Wanted to give you something to look forward to in the next chapter! . 


	8. Chapter 7

This chapter on, I'm going to put Axel's word in bold, so ppl know the difference between Zephyra and Axel. I hope this makes things easier for all readers...Thank you Chapter 7

I was amused that my little plan had worked out so perfectly. I was however, surprised that I had turned him on so quickly. "Is someone a little worked up," I teased lightly, but Axel was having none of that tonight. He held my hands above my head, restraining me as he pressed me up against a wall.

"Tonight is mine," he growled in that sexy bedroom voice that my body had been craving since I left as he dipped his head to mine to capture my lips in a frantic kiss. I knew on a sub-conscious level that this wasn't going to be like the last time which was slow and deliberate. This was going to be fast, furious, and hard. The thought was absolutely delicious. I moaned into his mouth, dragging my fingers through his silky red hair. Did I mention I loved his hair? His hands moved up my sides to my neck. They gently stroked the skin there, before slipping down and removing my robe. I wasn't wearing my red top. I think his eyes popped out of his sockets and I could feel a growing warmth right on my stomach. "Oh my..." I smiled at him.

"Are you sur..." I began, but I stopped as he bent his head to my neck and bit...HARD. I moaned, arching my back. His hands pushed the robe off me while his thigh pressed me further onto the wall. He licked the spot he had bitten, before moving lower to my chest. I continued dragging my fingers through his hair. He picked me up and I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist.

**I licked languidly at her nipple. She was making little gasping noises that drove me nuts. I moved to her belt and removed it quickly. It drifted down to join her robe and then her shorts and leggings followed. Soon, she was naked beneath me. I grinned and let my fingers trace down her stomach as I sucked her nipple into my mouth. I then led the way to the bed and plopped her down there. Her eyes were black and liquidy and I just stared into their dark depths for a moment, lost in her eyes. She stared back at me for a moment, and then with a flash, my robe was off and her fingers were sliding down to the waist of my pants, her lips on my collarbone, biting down hard. I moaned, pleasure coursing through my veins. She flipped us over so I was on the bottom; a position I definitely wasn't used to, but I could easily get used to. Her lips moved down to my nipple and sucked it into her mouth. I gasped, ice spreading through my body again. I shivered as she undid the button of my jeans. She pulled them off and then reached for my red boxers. But instead of taken them off, she stroked me through the boxers. "Oh god," I moaned. Her lips started moving lower and I think my mind left my body for a while, because the next thing I know, she's nipping at my hipbone. Who would of thought that there was a turn on spot there? Not me, but there definitely was one there. Then, my boxers were off and her lips were right there, hovering above me. I grabbed handfuls of her hair, moaning and arching up to her. She held me down. "Damn it Zephyra," I whispered through gritted teeth. "Don't do this to me."**

**She laughed slightly, and then took me into her mouth.**

This was new for me. I was giving Axel a blowjob. I liked it though; his reactions were something I could watch again and again. He was moaning and tossing his head back, dragging his fingers through my hair. His eyes were rolling back in his head. At times, when I'd lightly drag my teeth, he'd gasp and his back would come entirely off the bed. When I sensed he was close, I stopped and he whimpered...honest to goodness whimpered. He wasn't whimpering long though, because I straddled him and impaled myself onto him. His eyes popped out of his head again, so black they didn't look natural. His mouth hung open for a moment, and then he reached up and pulled me down on him as he passionately kissed me. I started moving up and down on him, our lips still together. His hands moved down to my hips. They felt cool compared to my hot skin. Then, Iwas slamming myself up and down, so fast I think my body was a blur. My hair brushed up against his face as I bit down hard on his neck. He responded by biting where my shoulder met my neck...really hard. THen, he started sucking on my neck. I could feel he was close, so was I. The fire in my body was almost killing me; so searing hot I was amazed Axel could touch me. Then I was there, screaming at the top of my lungs, writhing and clenching my whole body around Axel. Axel shouted "ZEPHYRA," as I felt a wave of ice pass through me as he came inside of me.I collapsed on top of him. His arms came around me, holding me close. Then, I realized he was still hard deep inside me. He picked me up and slammed me against the wall, thrusting hard and deep inside me. I moaned and started building up as the flames started burning inside of me.

**I got only a taste of warmth the last time...I needed more. I was thrusting up into her hard I know. But at the moment, I didn't care. She looked beautiful underneath me, red marks where I bit and sucked at her skin; her lips swollen with my kisses and her eyes dark with passion. I went in for another kiss. I knew this wasn't going to last long. She dragged her fingers through my hair, messing it up worse than it already was. She moaned, "Axel, I missed you so much." Her admitting that was enough to push me over the edge. I sucked on a nipple as I came into her. I soon felt a rush of warmth as she came again, clutching my head to her chest. I was sated for now. My legs threatened to give way, so I carried her over to the bed. We dropped in a pile of arms and legs wrapped around each other. I looked at her eyes, which had returned to normal. She looked back at me.**

We had to talk now. We had just had sex three times by now. What did this hold for us in the future? What exactly were our feelings for each other? I was attracted to him that is true enough, but did I love him? I honestly didn't know. "Axel," I began, but he covered my lips.

"I know Zephyra, we need to talk about this. But before we do, I want to ask you a question. Did you discover anything about your real self?"

"No. I didn't. You would think I was always a Nobody. There's nothing to remind me of what or who I was before I was Zephyra." He held me close.

"Don't worry, you'll find something eventually. Now, I do believe we need to talk about us."

"Yeah. Axel, we've had sex three times now. What are your thoughts about that?"

"I've loved every second of it Zephyra. I think you have too." I nodded. "What this means for us I don't know. I will admit that I am attracted to you."

"I'll admit the same. But we need to know what this means for us."

"Zephyra, I think for the moment, what we are doing is working for us. I don't think we need to change anything at this moment just because we've had sex." I sighed in relief, I didn't want to change anything just yet. What we had was working for us. I thought we would have to change just because of what we were doing. I nodded, agreeing with him. "Of course, just because it's working now doesn't mean it won't be working later."

"I know."

"But for now, let's just keep doing what we've been doing. But all of this has to be kept secret from the rest of the Organization. Got it memorized?" I smiled, loving the sound of Axel's catch phrase.

"Of course I do." I snuggled up into his arm and fell asleep, dreaming...for once in my life I was dreaming.

**I looked at the angel in my arms. She looked so innocent lying there asleep. But I knew, inside was a wildfire. She had a stubborn side that I loved. But she could also be so unsure and nervous, like a little girl. **_**She so desperately wants to find her true self**_**, I thought to myself as I brushed a strand of hair away from her face. She stirred slightly, and then nuzzled herself closer to my bare chest. I had slipped my boxers back on at some point, right after she fell asleep. I don't think she realized I had moved either. But I was doing more than watching Zephyra sleep. I was thinking about how I felt about her. I was attracted, but I think I have gone far beyond attracted. I was intoxicated by her. She was stubborn, she was strong, she was willful, she was sweet. I realized at that moment that intoxicated was a good word. I wasn't sure, but I think I was on the expressway to love. And you know what? I loved the thought of that.**

Chapter 8


	9. Letter to the Readers

Sorry that I haven't updated my story for a while. But I probably won't be updating again until I am moved into my dorm. So sorry to all the readers who have been wanting more. I promise, More IS on it's way, just it won't be around for a few more weeks. Thank you for ur patience.

3, LOTRchic


	10. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

When Superior summoned me the next day before I left again, I thought it was because he had seen through my fib about Roxas. I approached him at the Alter of Naught and I bowed a little. "You summoned me Superior," I stated, using my monotone voice.

"I have an added task that only you can do Zephyra."

"Tell me what I must do Superior, I am yours to command."

"I want you to kill a man in Hollow Bastion called Everly. He has a powerful heart. I want it. Make him surrender to the darkness in his heart. Make him a Nobody."

"Of course Superior. Tell me, should this be done before or after my current mission?"

"Now." I nodded. I had never been asked to kill someone. But I didn't particularly care about this man Everly. So what if I was to end his life? He'll come back as a Heartless and Nobody anyway. No big deal. I bowed to Xemnas and turned on my heel. I had almost left when he whispered my name. I looked over my shoulder at him. "Fail this Zephyra, and you shall be turned into a Dusk before you have time to explain yourself."

"I will not fail Superior."

**I awoke alone in my room. A note was left on the beside table with Zephyra's familiar writing. It said '**_**Superior called for me. I will return when my mission is complete. Talk to Demyx when you get the chance...He is now in control of the Olympus Coliseum. Ask him to ask for Roxas. Or go yourself. The little minions know.**_

_**Zephyra.'**_

**I hopped out of bed before I had finished the last line. I yanked my cloak on and I created a portal to Demyx's room. He was asleep, lying spread-eagle on the bed. I took a deep breath and shouted "DEMYX!" **

**"HOLY NOBODIES!" He shouted as he awoke suddenly and fell off his bed. "Axel, you should know better than to wake a fellow Nobody who needs his sllleeeeeppp," Demyx whined. **

**"I heard you were put in charge of the Olympus Coliseum. I want to go there...NOW."**

**"Then go, I'm not stopping you."**

**"You forget that you're the one in charge of there now. You have to A. tell me I can go and B. Track what I do there. Never know if I may betray you like Roxas did."**

**"This is ****YOU**** Axel...you're not about to leave the Organization, you're too smart for that."**

**"Are you saying Roxas wasn't?!" I was angry he was even suggesting it. I WARNED Roxas not to go, but he didn't listen to me. He knew the consequences... he just wasn't afraid of them. I was, because I knew what they were capable of.**

**"Whatever Axel. Just go and let me sleep," he said as he pulled the covers over himself and rolled over. I stood there venting for a few minutes, and then I turned on my heel and left through a dark portal.**

I had entered Everly's home in Hollow Bastion using a dark portal created for me by Superior. I walked as quietly as possible summoning my daggers as I did so. I looked into the bedroom and there was the man I assumed as Everly. He was old, rocking in a rocking chair by the bed. His bright blue eyes shone like sapphires in the snow in his pale wrinkly face. I entered the room, making as little noise as possible. I was almost behind him when he turned his old head and looked at me. He stared at me, and then a small whisper of a voice came out of his mouth, "Is it really you my dear?" I paused, not daring to answer, not daring to kill him just yet. "Have you returned to me from the realm of the dead? Or am I dead myself and seeing my little girl again?" I froze. Was this man senile or did he know? "Maybe I'm an old fool. My daughter would have shouted at me by now. Telling me that all those years ago I should have been a father. I should have been there when Amelia died. But I was too much of a coward wasn't I?" This guy was crazy. He had to be. I walked up to him with my dagger raised, pointing at his throat. His sapphire eyes filled with tears. "So it comes to this. No less than what I, a spineless, unfeeling father deserves." This man was thinking about his past. He had an image in his mind that was his daughter, and he only happened to be looking at me. No sane man would ramble on like this. My dagger swung down and his last words were 'I am so sorry Saph-" before I cut his throat. His heart left him and a Dusk took the place of Everly. I was trembling. Who was this man and who was he talking to? He couldn't have seen me. But did I just kill the one man who may have known my past? I shook of the feeling and I spoke to the Dusk. "Follow me." I entered the dark portal, the Dusk wobbling behind me.

**I had Hades' minions backed up against a wall. "TELL ME ABOUT THE BOY WITH THE KEYBLADE!" I shouted at them. They cowered in fright. I controlled myself and put on one of my signature smirks. "Now now, don't tell me you won't tell me your little secret. That would be MOST unwise." The little minions looked at each other in fright, when the blue one spoke up in quavering tones of voice. **

**"There was a boy here. W- We we we we heard him sh-sh-shouting at Hades about a b-b-boy named S-so-s- Sora."**

**"yeah," the fat red one agreed. "And Hades tried chasing him out with a fireball, but the fire hit him and he didn't even wince. The boy said 'Hitting me is futile. TELL me what I wanna know!' Hades then said 'Over my dead body hey hey!'"**

**"the boy looked m-m-murderous. then he bowed his head and left, b-b-b-but not before he said 'You'll regret this day.'" **

**HMPH!" was all I said. So, these two minions WERE of no help to me. Why did I even bother? **_**Roxas**_**, I thought, **_**where are you and when will you come home? **_


	11. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**I was walking back into the Castle, fuming. I think smoke was coming out of my ears. I saw Zephyra standing there, as pale as snow. Concerned, I quickened my pace. She looked like she was about to be sick. "Zephyra," I said, reaching out to her. She looked down at her hands. "Zephyra, what's the matter?"**

**"I'm a murderer." I stared at her. I think my mind went numb. "I killed a man. But that's not what is so wrong with me."**

**"Then what's wrong?" I was a little worried.**

**" I think...oh Axel," she burst into tears at that. "I think he knew who I was in my past."**

This had been eating me up since I delivered the Dusk to Xemnas earlier. He looked at it and said 'Well done. However, it seems I misjudged his heart. Send him along with the other Dusks.' I cried into Axel's shoulder after I told him everything. "How could Superior be so unfeeling about this?"

"He can't..." Axel began. I pushed him away.

"OH SHUT UP ALREADY! I KNOW WHY!" Axel looked hurt and shocked, but then he hid his feelings behind a smirk.

"Then don't ask about what you already know...Got it memorized?"

"Axel," I began hotly, "if I hear you say that phrase one more time, I will hit you so hard..."

"I Got it Memorized," he said, extremely cocky. Before I even realized what I was doing, I summoned my weapons and charged at him. He blocked me with ease. I blinked; he couldn't do that before. He just smirked at him. I snarled and set an icicle at him. He sent fire out of his hands and melted it. I screamed like a banshee and then took out my Chinese throwing stars, tossing my cloak off in the process. I threw them at him as I backflipped over him. He blocked them with apparent ease and then I tossed a dagger right behind a Chinese throwing star. I smirked, I didn't think he'd be able to dodge that one. he never could before. I landed on my feet just as felt his arm come around my neck. I squeaked, I know I did and then I thrashed under his arm, but his arm just became tighter around my neck, so much so that eventually I had to stop because he was choking me. "Now I wouldn't suggest you doing that anymore."

"YOU FUCKING..." then his arm tightened and I couldn't speak.

'Such language," he admonished. "Not to mention interrupting a higher ranked than yourself. Shame on you. Now listen to me," his tone became very serious. "None of this is my fault or is it yours. You were under orders. You did what you were sent out to do and you gained favor in Xemnas' eyes. His word is law. You do what he says or you get turned into a Dusk, no questions asked. I'm telling you the way things are around here, because you've been with us for quite a while. You've been around too long to act like this...to ask questions about ow things are done here. You could get in serious trouble. They all seem like cool guys, and they're not. They are ruthless, after one thing...Kingdom hearts. That's what our purpose is. We are servants and slaves to one man's vision; one we all believe in. If actions and orders are questionable at times, but if it gets us Kingdom Hearts, that is what it takes. You get over it and move on. Got it memorized?" He let me go then and I looked at him in shock. I had never heard him speak like that before...EVER. Nor had he ever treated me this way. He looked like a cynical man. I glared back at him with my coldest eyes.

"I _DON'T_ have to accept it if I don't want to. I may not be free...but I have my _OWN_ ideas and my _OWN_ desires. And no Superior will take those away from me. Got **THAT** memorized," I shot back. He frowned.

"Don't presume to be your own person. You sold yourself to the Superior in exchange to become real. _That_ is our purpose in life. Got it.."

"NO! I DON'T got it memorized! Because news flash Axel, I have always been my own person. Superior may command me, but he does not own me. I did NOT whore myself to do everyone of his whims. I agreed to work for him to get my heart. If you whored yourself to him, it's _your_ prerogative, not mine." I was up against the wall before I could blink. He was looking at me with such rage, for a moment I was scared. But I glared back at him with as much ice as I cold in my state of fear.

**I admit it. I was angry at her for taking her sadness out on me by yelling at me. But when she had said I had whored myself out to Xemnas, I cracked. The wall I had built around my own desires and fears and ideas had crumbled like the Berlin wall. It was a pile or rubble in my mind. My mouth began moving, I don't think I realized what I was saying. "Do you HONESTLY think I don't have my OWN ideas? My OWN desires as well? Damn it Zephyra...I DESIRE ****YOU****! I want to go out and find a life of MY ****OWN****! I don't want to be here, but what else is there for incomplete beings? NOTHING! I hide my ideas and desires because I've seen what happens when you defy Superior. Damn it, what do you think happened to Vexen?!" I saw her eyes go wide. "Yes Damn it! I killed him, and if I follow my orders, Zexion will be dead too." For once, I felt wetness on my face. I looked up to see her eyes dry, but her face was blurry. I let her go and touched my face...It was wet. I was **_**CRYING.**_** I felt her arms come around me as I cried in the bitter sweetness in being able to cry finally.**

What else was I supposed to do? I put my arms around him and his arms came around me. I made a dark portal and took him to my room. I laid down on the bed, Axel lying half on top of me, half beside me. "Shh...I whispered. "It's alright Axel. It's okay...Everything is gonna be alright...Shh.." His cries quieted down to sobs, and then nothing. He turned his head so his lips were a breath away from my neck.

'I'm sorry Zephyra... I have never lost control like that before."

'It's alright...I shouldn't have taken my anger at Xemnas out on you. I'm sorry too." He nuzzled his face into my neck, not trying to turn me on, just for comfort. I sighed a little bit. His arms came around me, wrapping me in a hug. I turned to look at him and he was asleep. I smiled a little bit. Then I frowned. He had _cried_. Axel had cried...my wet shoulder told me so. When did he start crying? I knew he couldn't before. Is it something I've done or is it Axel himself? Maybe a mixture of both? I snuggled closer to him. I had a mission to complete, but for now, I could fall asleep in my lover's arms. Yes, I can call him a lover...but could I call him my love? Part of me; I think the part of me I was missing, wishes I could. I opened my eyes. That's it! My purpose is to find my heart and maybe discover what drew me to Axel before I had even met him. This did not seem like a mere coincidence. I think we were Fated to be together. But there was only one way to find that out. I closed my eyes. As I drifted to sleep, I made a promise to myself and Axel. I promised to find our hearts so we could truly be together.


	12. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**I awoke, my eyes swollen and my body emotionally drained. I reached over and felt Zephyra next to me. She had actually stayed until I woke up. This was a new experience. I looked down at her as I sat up. Her orange eyes were open and looking at me in a kind of longing manner. I think I was looking back at her with the same longing. In that moment, all the harsh words spoken yesterday, all the wild animalistic sex, all of the discussions and combat lessons...none of them mattered. **_**This**_** was the ultimate. It was her. Her spark...her fire...**_**that**_** was the true beauty of this thing we had. **_**She**_** was the ultimate. Walking up to her eyes looking at me like they were looking at me now is something I could definitely live with. I rolled over and gently kissed her lips. "Well good morning," I whispered. **

**'For once, I wanted you to wake up with me here. Now, I do have to finish my mission. I'll be back in a few weeks."**

**"What about looking for who you were before Zephyra?" Her face went white for a second and then she looked so sad, my heart would've broke if I had one.**

**"I think I ruined my chance of that. I'll just do my mission and come back. To be with you." I grinned. Something had happened to her, but the fact she wanted to be with me gave me greater happiness than anything else I could think of. **

**"Ok then. See you when you get back."**

I climbed out of bed then, completely naked. Axel was watching me with hungry eyes; a kind of longing inside of them. He wanted me to stay. I WANTED to stay...But I had a mission to do, and I was going to do it...Kingdom Hearts HELP me, but I was going to finish the task set before me. I paused while buckling my belt. "Axel," I began. I turned to look at him...he had put on pants. He was looking at me curiously."Did you really kill Vexen?" His eyes grew cloudy, but he nodded. "Why?"

"I was under orders to."

"From who? Superior?" He shook his head, refusing to meet my eyes. "Then who?" He looked up at me then.

"I can't tell you." he smirked then. "I don't wanna get turned into a Dusk for satisfying your curiosity." I frowned, but I let it pass. When Axel wanted to keep a secret, he kept it a secret. One of the things that attracted me to him I guess. I shrugged and turned away from him. I materialized my weapons, and then created a dark portal. I turned to face him as I walked through it, grinning at him; showing him all the affection and desire I had for him. His face then disappeared in front of me, but I could clearly picture his shining green eyes. I turned to the task at hand. I knew that his face was what was gonna get me through Hollow Bastion after the whole Everly affair.

**Yeah, I worried about her. But her smile before she left was so brilliant, I worried a little less. I put on my cloak and went to talk to Superior. I was a double agent you can say. The Organization was breaking apart and I was 'on' both sides of it. But my devotion was to Superior, although it had nothing to do with loyalty. It was all to do with power. The other half was strong, but Xemnas (also known as Superior) had the MUCH stronger side, now that he had Zephyra and I. I smirked. Soon, by my hand, the Organization would be one again, albeit a much smaller Organization since...since Roxas left. I shuddered. I still hadn't accepted that Roxas had left. I met up with Superior who told me some interesting news. Roxas' other, Sora, had entered Castle Oblivion. He 'asked' (more like ordered) me to take care of our guest, which of course I knew what that meant. I bowed to him and said "As you've commanded, so shall be done."**

**"And Axel," he whispered to me. I looked up at him. "I was Zexion dead by the end of the week." I grimaced and nodded. "And when i say take care of Sora, I don't mean kill him." I was surprised, but I nodded my understanding. "And another thing," I inwardly sighed. I was always getting big jobs. "I want you to confront Marluxia soon."**

**"Yes Superior. I shall." I wasn't looking forward to it, but what Xemnas says...goes.**


	13. Dear Readers

**Dear Readers,**

**Once again...I'd like to apologize for the long period of no new material. school has been busy and my muse has been given a vacation in order to make more time for studying. I assure you that as soon as finals are done...more material will be up for your reading (and reviewing...hint hint) pleasure. **

**Your author,**

**LOTRchic19**


	14. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I finished what had to be done in all the other worlds I needed to visit without much incident and I was now going to my last world...Twilight Town. I entered into Twilight Town and looked around. It seemed to be deserted. Suddenly, someone rang out between the buildings and collided with me. "Hey! Watch it!" the boy called. Two other children followed him.

"Hayner. be polite," the girl scolded. The bigger boy looked up at me.

"I'm sorry for Hayner's rudeness. It just, when he gets excited..."he gestured hopelessly with his arms and didn't finish. I stared at the boy Hayner for a minute, and then said quietly,

"Think nothing of it." I then walked away...after all...I did have a mission to accomplish. I walked a few steps and then slowed and stopped. I looked back over my shoulder at the children who had crossed my path. I watched them laughing and teasing each other and I thought..._Did I ever used to do that? _Suddenly, another boy came running over. He was laughing and having a good time...and then his face turned and I saw him. "Roxas," I whispered. I guess he heard me, because he then looked at me. Roxas' face then melted into a horrified expression. He ran down a side alleyway. I started to chase after him. I could hear the children; Roxas' friends, yelling after me and him, but they could not keep up with a Nobody's superior speed and they fell behind. I caught up with Roxas and grabbed his arm. He started to struggle. "Roxas! Stop running! I'm not going to hurt you! It's me, Zephyra!"

"YOU WON'T TAKE ME BACK TO THE ORGANIZATION! YOU WON'T YOU WON'T YOU WON'T!"

"ROXAS!" I commanded and pulled him against my body, mostly to stop his struggling. But also because I was glad to see him again. He struggling slowly subsided, until he was only occasionally trying to throw me off. "Roxas," I said more gently.

"You've caught me, but you'd have to turn me into a dusk before I go back to the Organization."

"Roxas, I'm not going to take you back to the Organization." He looked up at me then. He looked just like he used to, albeit with different clothes on.

"You...you won't?"

"No. But Roxas, Axel and I...we have been so worried about you." He frowned, but his eyes spoke of guilt and sorrow. He looked away from me then.

"Don't tell Axel where I am." I blinked a few times. This was the last thing I was expecting Roxas to say.

"But Roxas, Axel is your best friend," I began.

"I don't want to hurt him!" He said impatiently. "But I can't go back. And it will hurt Axel more to know I won't ever be coming back than to hang onto the false hope I will come back. I have to meet Sora."

"Who's Sora?" Roxas got quiet then.

"He is my other," he whispered. I let go of him then and stepped back. I think I turned pale.

"Y-your other? Your other lives?" Roxas nodded then.

"A rare occurence indeed, but yes...he lives. And I need to meet him; to talk to him." I looked at him then. For a long time, neither of us spoke. I nodded then.

"I understand." Roxas looked relieved when I said that.

"How IS Axel though?" He asked. I looked away.

"He's well enough...he just worries about you. But he lives and he is well."

"You love him, don't you?" I looked up at him, my eyes speaking of the sorrow I could no longer feel.

"Can Nobodies love? I work to find our hearts so that we can TRULY love. I don't love him...not yet. But once I get my heart back, I will."

"For your sake and his then...I hope you find what you are searching for." Just then, Roxas' friends ran around the corner and created a wall between Roxas and me.

"Ok lady, how is it you know Roxas and what do you want with him?" I looked at Roxas, who looked at me with such sadness and regret, but also hope. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and then gave a barely audible nod to Roxas, who gave me a watery smile in return, tears lining his eyes. "Well," the boy demanded.

"Nothing...wrong guy." I turned away then and began walking away. "Goodbye, Roxas," I whispered over my shoulder to Roxas. "May we meet again."

"I'll be waiting," was the faint response I heard as I turned the corner.


	15. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**So much time had past since the 'revolution' of some of the Organization**

**members ended. Roxas had all but disappeared from the face of any**

**world and we who were once thirteen were now only eight. Zephyra and**

**I were lying naked and entangled in the sheets, staring out to the**

**World That Never Was. I leaned my head down to smell her hair which**

**always and forever smelled of exotic spices since she last visited**

**the Land of Dragons. She had an unfortunate mishap with a spice**

**vendor and forever she smelled of ginseng. It was a nice smell for**

**her. I nibbled lightly on her ear. "I love you,"I whispered. She froze. She looked up at me with startled eyes.**

**"What did you say?"**

**"I...I said I love you," I responded, confused by her reaction. "I... I thought that... I thought it was obvious." She disengaged herself from my arms and immediately started picking up her clothes. "What's the matter?"I got up and went to her, wrapping my arms around her waist as she bent down to pick up her shorts.**

** "Axel," I heard her whisper. "You can't say you love me. You do not feel**

**love. We have no hearts." I sigh in frustration and move one of**

**my hands from her waist to my hair. **

**"You don't have to keep saying that you know," I whisper back.**

**"Why not? You don't mean it when you say you love me because you CAN'T**

**mean it.. no matter how much you want to." I barely heard the**

**last part of that sentence she had lowered her voice so much.**

**"Why can't you just accept that I **_**want**_** to mean it and move on," I asked as I seductively nibbled on the back of her neck. Neither of us had a mission to go on anytime soon and the Superior hadn't called on us or for a meeting. She jerked a**

**little out of my arms, effectively moving her beautiful neck away**

**from my hungry lips.**

**"Because I don't want you saying false words to me ever. Especially those**

**three words." I laughed darkly then.**

**"If you don't want me to say false words to you, then every word**

**involving an emotion is false.**

**"Don't be a smart mouth to me Axel!" She had put on her shorts and was**

**hastily put on her cloak. I grabbed it and I shoved her against the**

**wall. She gasped then moaned as I pushed down her shorts and my**

**fingers slid down to her pussy. I slid three in and out slowly, all**

**the while ravaging her mouth before stopping completely, leaving her**

**standing weak kneed against the wall.**

**"According to you, you didn't really just feel that," I said sharply as I**

**began to stomp away. Then I felt ice and my legs were stuck to the floor. Irritated, I melted the ice. I went to walk away but I felt her hand on my throat and she threw me down onto the bed. She straddled me and impaled herself on my member. My eyes widened in surprise. We were never ones for quickies, but this looked like it**

**was going to be one as she started slamming herself up and down on me**

**at an alarming rate. Just as I was about to come, she got completely**

**off me and looked at me with a vindictive edge. **

**"According to me, you weren't really close to orgasm," she said as she**

**threw her cloak on herself without bothering to put on anything underneath. She left and I almost cried as I used my hand to finish the job. I thought about what I had said. I almost cried again... because she had not said those three words back to me.**

I wasn't angry with him. I was frustrated with him though. He had said

he loved me. He couldn't love me. Why did he have to say he loved me?

I was working towards getting our hearts; I did not have much luck. I

was still looking. I was so irritated with Axel's lack of patience

that I almost ran Xaldin over. He reached out to balance me out.

"Xemnas was looking for you," he muttered as he continued on his merry way. I sighed and I went to the Alter of Naught where Xemnas stood looking at the nearly complete Kingdom Hearts.

"Superior, you were looking for me," I said as I did a little bow. He turned

his orange eyes to me and his eyes seemed to be lit with an insane

fire.

"Yes. I have another person for you to kill." I swallowed. I had assasinated

someone since he had asked me to kill Everly.

"Sir, why not ask Xaldin or Xigbar?" I was shocked at myself. I had never

questioned the Superior's orders. But this was one thing I was not willing to do again. Xemnas smiled a cruel smile as he advanced towards me. I backed away without any conscious thought of doing so.

"Zephyra, did you ever wonder why you were brought into the Organization so easily? Why you were allowed to keep your name the way you had always had

it?"

"N-n-n-no Superior... I just thought..." Xemnas laughed then.

"You were allowed all these... 'privileges' because you were chosen to kill

without question. That is why you have existed. You were made to be a killing machine. Ever wonder why you could beat almost anyone in combat? It is because when you were Created, you were given the speed and agility of a Heartless." I was backed up against the wall. Xemnas was sneering at me with his cold, pitiless eyes looking at me. He leaned down far too close to me... I could see each of his

gleaming teeth as he went a hairs-breath away from my ear; an ear that Axel had been lovingly nibbling not even an hour ago. "You have always obeyed orders without question, did you ever wonder why? Everyone else complains... did you? Never. Do you wish to know why?" I shook my head.

"N-n-n-n-no. NO! Don't tell me!" I tried to escape from beneath him against

the wall, but he grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me against him. I was caught in his vice-like grip. I struggled against him, but he did not let go. He laughed openly at me now. He bent his head to my face and forced me to look into his eyes. He was grinning a wicked smile.

"Well, since you want to know so bad," he whispered as he moved his mouth over to my ear again. He whispered words I did not think I would

ever, ever forget. "You are not a full Nobody Zephyra. You are only half of a Nobody. You are a Heartless as well. You did not deserve to be among our ranks, yet you have become our greatest asset. Because of you, we have captured more hearts than we ever did with Roxas," he spat Roxas' name out between his teeth. "After you finish a mission, when you sleep, we go into your mind and take the hearts of the people in your memory. You are nothing more than a tool to use Zephyra, to use how we see fit. You do not deserve the name of a Nobody. But because of you, soon we will be real." He let go of me then so that I fell to the ground at his feet. He smiled a cruel smile and said "You will never exist Zephyra, because you are and will forever be a Heartless first and foremost... You are a Heartless Zephyra... Do not pretend to be what you are not."


	16. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

**I was sitting on the edge of my bed, thinking about the argument Zephyra and I had not too long ago when I heard a portal open behind me. I turned to see her entering my room and collapsing on the floor. I heard sobbing coming from her. Crying out, I raced over to her and pulled her into my lap. She was crying fully now, tears pouring down her lovely face. I whispered soothing, loving words to her as I rocked her back and forth in my arms. Finally, she stopped crying enough to talk. "Zephyra, what's the matter?"**

**"I...I really am nothing. Even if we get our hearts back, I won't be real again. I will never be real again." Renewed tears fell down her face, but she just wiped them away with a defeated gesture. **

**"What are you talking about? Every Organization member will get their hearts back once we are real." She shook her head.**

**"Not me."**

**"Why not?" She looked up at me with eyes that would have broken my heart. As is, it caused an ache in my chest where my heart should have been.**

**"I...I can't..." she looked away then. "I'm leaving the Organization." Startled and frightened, I grabbed her arms. **

**"Wha... WHY?"**

**"Because I'm not going to be used anymore. I don't want to belong to a group that uses me as a tool."She stood up and took off her Organization outfit and put on the clothes that had been left in my room from earlier. She hesitated, and then turned to me. "I am going to find out who I was before. See what kind of person I was. If I wasn't a good person, maybe I won't feel so sad about not being real again. Also, I'm going to find your heart for you."**

**"Zephyra, stay with me... please." Tears were filling my eyes, I knew. I could feel the pressure behind my eyes. She looked at me with heartbroken, pitying eyes. **

**"I can't. Trust me when I say I can't. I will find your heart for you. I promise." As she began to fade into a portal she created behind her, she whispered, "By the way, what you said to me before... right back at you." And then she was gone. I cried, letting all the pain and sorrow I felt flow. She loved me... at least I thought she did. I cried harder, knowing she still hadn't said those three words to me.**

I felt bad for leaving Axel without telling him why I suddenly decided to leave the Organization. But I couldn't tell him... I couldn't tell him I was a Heartless. I looked back at Castle Oblivion as I reached the alley which had a portal in it. I was never going to come back again, except for when I would Axel his heart back and then together we could leave. I did something very immature and sent the Castle the middle finger and said "FUCK YOU ALL YOU MANIPULATING BASTARDS!" Then, I lowered my hand and whispered barely above hearing, "except you Axel. I promise you will see me again. And the next time I see you, we will finally be able to be fully and completely together." I turned away and entered the portal, leaving this world I had known for so long to never again return. I never did return to this world. For not everything is as it seems in this reality known as light.


	17. Chapter 14

_Hi All, it's your author LOTRchic19. I just wanted to let you all know that from now on, the CHAPTERS are going to be in one character's POV, instead of it changing throughout the chapter. This will continue until Axel's inevitable death tears. Thanks for all the reviews! Keep reading! It's getting good!_

Chapter 14

**She was gone. Gone from my life... forever. And no one seemed to give two shits. They all went on their merry ways, not knowing that my entire world had shattered. I sat in my room, staring at the white walls... desolate on the inside. I really did feel heartless. I felt nothing. Nothing mattered anymore. Kingdom Hearts, the Organization, being real again... none of it mattered without Zephyra. She also brought up the memories of Roxas leaving the Organization... memories I buried. Now, they played through my mind like a movie. Roxas leaving, Zephyra leaving, Axel's empty existence repeated over and over in a never-ending loop through my mind. What did having my heart matter if I couldn't have the one I loved with me? Why did I have to continue existing without her in my life or without my best friend? A portal appeared in my room. I took little notice of it, not even glancing away from the wall as Xaldin walked in. "Axel," he said. I didn't bother to even acknowledge him. He wasn't Roxas... or Zephyra. "Axel, this is getting ridiculous. She has been gone for over a week. She's not coming back. And even if she did, she will be turned into a Dusk. If half-breeds like her can..." Before I realized what I was doing, I had my hand around Xaldin's throat and he was up against the walls, my weapons in my other hand. **

**"Don't you **_**DARE**_** call her a HALF-BREED. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME NUMBER THREE?!" Xaldin's normally non-expressive face was looking at me in astonishment. The, he narrowed his eyes at me and pushed me off him. I let him, knowing if he said anything of the sort again I would kill him. He walked away from me and looked over his shoulder and smirked at me.**

**"You know Number Eight, if you're going to start threatening your superiors, someone might get the impression you were going to betray the Organization."**

**"You can't use that bullshit on me Xaldin. Superior knows that I have always supported the Organization."**

**"Ah, but let's not forget about your part in the uprisal we had not that long ago."**

**"You, and everyone else around here, know that I was acting on orders from the Superior." Xaldin shrugged at me and created a portal, getting ready to leave my room.**

**"People have a habit of forgetting." With that last note, he left my room, leaving me alone again. I fell to the floor, clutching my head as I felt tears filling my eyes. Nothing I did ever mattered to these Nobodies. But Zephyra...Zephyra appreciated everything I did. Except when I said I loved her. The tears filling my eyes started pouring down my face, and I started crying out, my throat constricting so that is was hard to breathe. Why couldn't see say it back to me? Why? WHY? I meant it... with my whole being I meant that I loved her. I may not have a heart, but I knew it in my soul. **

**"Oh my Kingdom Hearts, why couldn't she say that she loved me back? Why couldn't she just say those three words? Something to make my existence worth all this." I cried harder, gripping my arms tightly. I needed to feel something besides all this sadness. I raced out of my door, my hood pulled up so no one could see my face. I ran into the weapons room and grabbed a knife. I whipped my glove off and I slashed my wrist. "Please," I whispered, trying to force myself to feel pain. I watched my blood flow down my arm, but I felt nothing. The tears increased as I tried to cut myself again. Nothing. I saw the blood sliding like molasses down my arm. I know I had cut myself. It registered to me that I had done it. But there was no pain. Only greater sadness that I had come to this. I cut myself a third time, hoping with a bitterly small hope that I would feel the pain now. I dropped the knife. My blood splattered off the knife onto the floor and I fell to the floor in despair, clutching at my bleeding arm. There was no feeling of pain. I looked up to the sky. "WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?! ZEPHYRA! ROXAS! WHY?!" I cried harder, barely registering that someone's arms were gripping me under my arms. Someone was talking to me, but their voice was so distorted I couldn't understand it. I just cried harder and harder. The sadness just wasn't giving up. It seemed like there was no end to the sadness. I didn't want to continue living like this. I shook the person holding me off me and grabbed for the knife again, ready to slit my throat, something to get me bleeding and keep me bleeding until the world became black. I brought the knife up, images of Roxas and Zephyra's faces if they could see just how far I had fallen. Someone grabbed my arm and pushed my pressure point, making me drop the knife. "NO! LET ME DO THIS! LET ME GO!"**

**"AXEL!" cried out the voice. It was Demyx. I looked over at him, but my sight was getting blurry. It was probably from the blood loss from my wrist. "AXEL! STOP!" His aqua eyes were wide and scared looking. I felt my world going dark.**

**"Life isn't worth living if you can't be whole," I meant that meaning Zephyra. But I think he took it another way. **

**"Axel, we're so close. Don't give up now." I felt myself falling and I saw in his face that he knew I was falling out of consciousness.**

**"Never lose your other half Demyx. It'll be the death of us all," was the last thing I remember saying before the world went black.**

**I remember waking up feeling sad again. I nearly cried, lying where I was, but I stopped myself when I heard people portal into my room. Someone bent over me and checked my wrist. "He will live. He has lost a lot of blood, but he will live."**

**"How wonderful to hear that," I heard Superior say in his monotone voice. The person who pronounced me to live I think was Xaldin. I opened my eyes and saw I was right about it being Xemnas. But the person next to him was Luxord, not Xaldin.**

**"And so the palsied individual joins the world of the existent." I sat up, grabbing my wrist and feeling it bandaged underneath my glove. I flexed my hands, still upset I could feel no pain... only the sadness of losing Zephyra. **

**"Yes, it is very strange that you, Number Seven, have come to this. It's almost like you have feelings." Superior's eyes narrowed briefly. "I do not like it."**

**"Sorry Superior. It won't happen again."**

**"You are quite right... it won't, because you are not allowed to leave your room unaccompanied. And don't think about trying to just walk out. I will know." **

**"Superior, I don't understand... I have been nothing but loyal to this Organization. Why am I under survaillience?"**

**"It is not our way to show emotions when on a mission Axel. You have violated that code by your emotional act." I stared at the Superior, and then at Luxord. I realized that he was being completely serious. I sat down on my bed, completely flummoxed. I sat looking at the floor as Superior and Luxord left my room. I went to the window and looked up to where Kingdom Hearts was being built. **

**"You happy now Mother Fucker? Everything I've done to make you real means jack shit. You don't give a rat's ass do u? You take all the hearts we give you, and yet you don't give us what we truly desire. But Zephyra," I turned from the window, still talking to the unresponsive Kingdom Hearts, "Zephyra was actively going to look for her heart and mine too." I touched my chest where my heart should have been. "She cares about me, even if she doesn't love me." Tears filled my eyes as a wave of sadness passed through me. I turned to face Kingdom Hearts. "You don't give a fuck about what happens to me. I bet you don't even have our hearts. Smite me if it's to be otherwise," I bowed mockingly to it, half expecting it to react to my taunts. I looked up at it with scornful eyes after waiting in my bow for it to 'smite me.' "Just as I thought, O Great Kingdom Hearts," I said as I stood up. "You are nothing but a mockery of a heart." I pointed at it and shouted as loud as I could, "WE AREN'T THE NOBODIES... **_**YOU ARE!!**_**" I lowered my arm and bowed my head to talk to myself. "Heh, this is really pathetic. I'm talking to a nonexistent doorway." I walked over to my bed and sat down. I laid down and turned my head. I swear a breath of gingseng passed by my nose. I cried softly, "oh Zephyra... I wish you were here with me now. Where could you be?"**


	18. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

I was wandering again... I started falling back into my old habits... my old wonderings... but there were new ones too. Like what Axel was doing and how he was adjusting to both Roxas and I leaving the Organization. I was sure he wasn't too thrilled, but what could I do? This was for the both of us... well... it was more for him than me. Even if I got my heart back... I would still be a Heartless. That must be why my eyes were orange instead of a normal color. Heartless have yellow eyes. No, I wasn't thinking clearly. I was walking through one of the corridors of darkness between worlds. Suddenly, thousands of Dusks were surrounding me. I summoned my weapons, getting ready for whatever they were here for. Suddenly, they all swarmed me. I brought my daggers out and blocked their attacks with short flicks of my wrist. I stabbed one of them where their heart should have been. It disappeared with a 'poof'. There were so many of them. Every time I fought one off, there were three more to take its place. I hissed as I felt the fabric on my back rip as my observation distracted me from the battle at hand. I whirled around to face the crowd of them and leapt back into the fray with almost berserker like attacks. Something hit me in the face and when I touched my face, I saw a dark spot on my glove. I snarled, throwing my Chinese star at the Dusk who had hit my face. Then, another one attacked my right arm and left a gash from my shoulder to my wrist. With this accumulation of injuries, I realized it was pointless to continue. I ran, hating myself and my inability to fight all of them off. I came out in Hollow Bastion. I looked around. There were people around me, but I didn't think they saw me. I lowered my head, taking deep breaths to keep from passing out. Suddenly, a shadow crossed over me. "Oh you poor dear," I heard a woman say. I looked up to see an elderly woman with sparkling, sympathetic ice blue eyes.

"You can see me," I whispered, feeling my throat clench in a flood of relief. The woman smiled sweetly and nodded. I managed a small smile back before falling forward in an unconscious heap.

The first thing I became aware of was something tight and constricting around my torso. Then, I became aware of a bed beneath me. I opened my eyes and then shut them suddenly as a bright light entered my sight. I moaned softly as my eyes watered a bit. "Oh thank heavens you're awake dearly," said a voice that sounded very familiar. "I was worried when you fell unconscious out on the street." I opened my eyes slowly to realize with relief that the shades were closed and the kind woman who had found me on the street was standing over me with her hand on my forehead. "Who were the rascals responsible for putting you into such a state? I will get the police on them so quick their heads will spin on their necks."

"Du...Just some guys. I didn't know them. They just jumped me and caught me by surprise," I lied.

"Well, I hope they didn't get anything from you."

"They didn't. I didn't have anything on me." The woman looked startled for a moment, and then whispered,

"Are you homeless my dear?" I thought about my current situation. I nodded. I had no where to live. With an exclaimed cry, she went into the next room. "Lizzie, she doesn't have a place to live. She's homeless."

" Oh the poor thing... She must live with us. I insist. I won't take no for an answer. Tell her Beth." The elderly woman named Beth came back into the room.

"Lizzie insists you live with us. And I do too. I don't want a young and pretty girl such as yourself living on the street." I sat up, realizing that I had been put into an overlarge shirt and jeans. I looked around the small, but clean room I was in. It had a cozy lived in feel to it. I looked at the woman I know knew as Beth. She looked at me with compassionate, pleading eyes. Superior had never looked at me like that. Axel had... but her eyes weren't the same. All the same... her emotion was genuine. _Maybe she will know about my past... or Axel's_, I thought to myself as I got out of bed and stood at my full height. I smiled a soft smile.

"I'd love to."


	19. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

**I stood beside my window once more, looking out over the World That Never Was, lost in thought. I heard someone enter my room and I hid my fury when I saw that it was Xemnas. I bowed, making the gesture slightly sarcastic. "Good evening Superior. To what do I owe the **_**pleasure**_** of your visit?" Xemnas frowned, but made no comment on my insolence. **

**"I have a job for you," he drawled, holding out his hand to create a dark portal in my room. I tried to keep my excitement in check. Something must have shown on my face, because the Superior grinned in a very devilish way. "Before you get too excited, I should let you know that you will be heavily monitored during this mission. If you should fail or detour from what I am about to tell you, you will become a Dusk... end of discussion." I bit my lip. I was not only on thin ice for cutting myself, but also because I failed to kill Roxas. My heart warmed thinking about him... He was alive and well... at least he was when i saw him. It still hurt to know that he hadn't remembered me until the end. He was waiting for me in the next life. He was with his Other now... he had his heart back. Nonetheless, I had not destroyed him or brought him back before he merged with his Somebody, which meant that the Superior was not just threatening me now with being demoted to Dusk.**

**"I will not fail you again Xemnas," I vowed, pulling on my gloves to hide the scars on my wrists. **

**"I'm sure you won't. This task should be simple enough... even for you." I grimaced. "Your task is to capture Kairi and bring her here." I hid my surprise as best that I could. "We have evidence that shows that Sora is very much...ah... attached to this girl. We need the hearts his Keyblade release from the Heartless. If he thinks Kairi is in danger, he will not stop until he has her." I nodded, and then stepped through the dark portal to complete the mission that Xemnas gave me.**

**Kairi and I were walking through a portal of darkness, my grip firm, but gentle on her upper arm. She struggled pointlessly in my grip. "Let me go! LET ME GO! I need to find Sora and Riku!" **

**"Sora and Riku will come to find you," I pushed out between my gritted teeth. Kairi apparently wasn't happy with that answer, because she kept struggling in my grip. "Will you stop wiggling?!," I finally spat out at her, my patience on its last strings. **

**"Not until you LET...ME...GO!" she panted out as she continued her struggling. I sighed, and counted to ten. When that didn't work, I picked her up completely off the ground and threw her over my shoulder. "HEY!" she screeched, kicking her legs pointlessly in the air. "PUT ME DOWN!"**

**"If I put you down, will you quit trying to run," I drawled coldly, not having any sympathy for this girl right now.**

**"No."**

**"Then you can forget being put down," I concluded as I started walking again. She kicked and beat her fists on my back, but she might as well had been beating a building with all the good it was doing. Finally, she gave up and sighed.**

**"I promise not to struggle anymore... Please put me down."**

**"Ah I dunno... I think I prefer this method of getting you from place to place," I said, not quite ready to forgive her for the headache she caused.**

**"Hey! You said if I stopped struggling, you'd put me down!" She said, indignant that I considered going back on my word. Chuckling, I put her down, but kept a firm grip on her arm. She walked defeatedly next to me. I looked at her. There was nothing unique about her. Brown hair, blue eyes, pink dress... she looked a lot like Namine... but then again, she would. She was her Somebody. Still, she was weak and she didn't look like anything important. Nonetheless, I was intrigued by her courage. It took balls to jump into the Darkness if you had a heart. Not only that, other women would have shrieked in fear and stopped fighting long ago. She had not. Cautiously, I asked,**

** "Why did you keep fighting me, even though it was obvious you wouldn't succeed?" Kairi was silent for a long time; I thought she wasn't going to answer me. Then...**

**"When you care for someone as strongly as I care for Riku... and Sora," she sounded different when she spoke Sora's name, "you'll fight all the Darkness for them." I looked at her eyes; they looked far too old for a girl her age. "When your hearts are connected like me and my friends, you know that wherever you go, you are never alone... you are never weak." She paused for a long moment, then said, "You wouldn't understand." I looked away, humbled by this girl. **

**"I do," I whispered quietly, but I think she heard me, because she asked, **

**"Is there someone you care about? Someone who would travel the Worlds for?"**

**"Yes," I whispered quietly, tears starting to fill my eyes. I hid my face from view. She touched me lightly on the arm. **

**"What's her name," she said, showing more intuition than I had seen in a person in a long time.**

**"...Zephyra." Then I broke down and with a sob, blurted out, "I loved her... I truly did. I may not have a heart, but I knew I did. And even Roxas... I loved him too... in a different way. Both left me... and I will never see them again." I cried out, "I don't even know where Zephyra is. She just vanished... No one... not even Superior has been able to find her. Maybe she's dead or as dead as we can be. I don't even know." I stopped walking for a moment to gain control of myself. **

**"Well then, why don't you go out looking for her? And Roxas too," she told me. I scoffed. Roxas was gone... but maybe if he freed himself from Sora's heart... Was that even possible? Now looking for Zephyra... that had possibilities... However, I had to get Kairi to the World that Never Was before the Surveillance was taken off me, and then there would be only a moment of freedom before Xemnas came down with avengence. Maybe I could work it out so we both ended up free... Just as a plan popped into place, I could see the end of the dark portal. We emerged into the World That Never Was. **

**"Kairi," I whispered urgently... "When my Superior comes, I want you to do something."**

**"What," she said warily.**

**"I'll create a portal behind me, I want you to break out of my grip and run into it...Don't give me that look!" She was looking at me in skeptical disbelief. "If this works, we'll both be free to find who we care about... So just do it!" I hissed out as Xemnas appeared in front of us. **

**"Welcome Kairi, to the World That Never Was," began Xemnas as I created a portal behind me, small enough to be hidden from view. Xemnas looked at me. "Good work Axel, you may go back to you room as soon as..." just then, I loosened my grip slightly on Kairi's arm, letting her know that she should run now. She broke out of my fragile grip and dove into the portal behind me. Xemnas shouted something indistinct in a rage, while I shouted over him, "I'LL GET HER!"**

**"NO AXEL! YOU'RE NOT ON SURVIELLENCE! SAIX OR LUXORD..." Superior began, but it was too late, I had already leapt into the Darkness, laughing at my newfound freedom. I caught up with Kairi, who was racing through the portal at top speed. I ended up beside her and we both slowed down. **

**"Thanks Axel," Kairi began. I held my hand up to forstall any thanks. **

**"No time for it... We only have a few moments more before someone comes to catch us. And please tell them you got away; that I didn't let you go ok?" She nodded. I made another opening in the tunnel. "This was where Sora was seen last... Twilight Town...he may still be there..." Kairi looked at me with such gratitude, you would think she was a starving mother who had just been told she had won 2000 munny. She mouthed the words 'Thank you' as she disappeared into the side tunnel. I continued down this first tunnel, whispering to myself as I lightly traced my scars through my gloves, "Zephyra... I'm coming for you... You too Roxas."**


End file.
